Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
