I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he was CRYING into my vagina
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize