kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
