thus making me awesome and them whores
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
