why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
