i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
