walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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