There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
