Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
