What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
