Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
