Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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