We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
