I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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