saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
