protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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