i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
