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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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