Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
