At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
