his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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