we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Alive.
So much puke
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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