We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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