gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
