My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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