my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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