At least make sure they are 18
Why
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize