Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Congratulations! We have a period
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
