the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
