Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
420 ftw
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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