weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
