I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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