So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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