I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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