Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize