shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I think people are normalizing furries
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
