I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
