Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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