Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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