Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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