My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize