O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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