we have pet lesbian snakes
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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