Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
