dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I need a beard to bite.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
