Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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