I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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