Christians are straight up FREAKS
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
