Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
