how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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