me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
