I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
