Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
