If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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