Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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