Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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