i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
how does that bad decision feel?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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