That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Buhtt sex?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
