i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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