How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
