Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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