You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
