Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
